It's complicated

Well life never is easy is it? I begin to claw back some remnants of how my life used to be and start to feel again and now I'm feeling pretty abandoned!

I'm sure it's not intentional but life has a funny way of doing stuff like this to you. The person responsible for my new found enthusiasm for life has backed away quite suddenly for reasons i'm unsure of. I'm hoping I haven't said or done something to upset the equilibrium of our friendship but I am unable to clarify this as they seem to be avoiding talking at the moment. Naturally I'm quite upset and I'm currently re-playing previous conversations to check for mishaps on my part. Of course there is always the possiblity that I'm being un duly neurotic and there is no problem except for the doubt festering in my mind, but i'm generally quite astute and tuned in to people.

So here I am now. Disappointed that a day out appears to have been cancelled (not told in so many words but I'm not stupid!) but also concerned. It could be that they have found a new suitor and are concentrating all their energies in that direction. If this is the case then go for it, I'm really chuffed you deserve to be happier than anyone else I know. It could be that life is so tough at the moment that you cant possibly take time out but you feel bad about letting me down. Well you only needed to say and I would've understood. I always do. So if you're reading this and know who you are then please dont shut me out again. You'll always need your friends. I do xxxxxxxxx