difficult questions

I caught up with a friend yesterday who asked a rather interesting question. 'Can we be happy with just one person in our lives?' On further questionnning I worked out that she was actually talking about her relationship life and not the fact that she only had one friend ha ha! Anyway, I sat on it for a while and then concluded that it was un fair to expect one person (male) in this instance to fufill you in every way. Now dont get excited if you happen to be male and reading this, I'm not suggesting she embarks on swinging or numerous clandestine affairs! I did however say that without my friends to keep me balanced I would not be so easy to live with it.

Looking in to my own relationship with Paul I realised that although I love him very much he is not everything and more to me. Shock, horror, you must divorce I hear some people cry. No that is not the case. I have purely realised that he has flaws (as do we all) but deep down he cares for myself and the children and he works hard to provide for us. For me to sit there and wish he was more open, more demonstrative, more passionate, more loving is simply a waste of my time and energy and will only serve to drive a wedge between us. Contary to popular belief girls we cannot change them and nor should we try!!

So how do I deal with this and remain true to myself and my needs? Well I have a few people close to me who I love dearly and couldn't manage without. They all have slightly different roles to play yet all make me the person I am today. I am not judged by my actions nor ridiculed. They will hold me when I feel life is un bearable and they are there when I need them. In return I try and be that person in their lives and I understand when they need a shoulder or need the space to work out what they really need. True friends of that calibre can help you through your darkest days and should be kept close for you never know when you will need them.

My friend pondered this for a while and i hope went away feeling a bit better about what was troubling her. Our conversation also reminded me that there is always a reason why people are in your life and why events happen and you should never regret getting things out in the open even if you do feel like a fool. If they love you they will understand.........